Cheat and tell?

Red Red Apples

Recently I had quite an interesting conversation with a girlfriend of mine. She was stuck somewhat between a rock and a hard place because she was wondering if it was always necessary to confess that one had cheated. If you cheated, did you always have to tell? Is it alright to wriggle out of an affair without confessing to your partner what had been done?

Having counselled with a number of individuals/couples on this very volatile issue of infidelity, I knew off-hand that it can be complicated. People cheat for a variety of reasons. Some do it out of retaliation because their own partner has cheated, others are motivated by a need for sexual variety and excitement, others long for the unconditional emotional support which a lover often brings, or for some, cheating is a response to a bothersome mid-life crisis or to feelings of low self-esteem. Whatever the reason…

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When Sex Clouds The Issue

Do we allow sex to control our relationship decision-making? Can sex shape or influence how we “read” an individual or perceive a new relationship?

Red Red Apples

sex gets cloudyThere’s a belief going around in some circles about women and broken relationships. It’s commonly said that the only way for a woman to get over one man is to get underneath another one. There are some women who swear by this standard and will move quickly into another intimate relationship after their marriage or relationship fails. Whether or not you believe in using sex as a means of ridding yourself of a new man and cementing yourself with a new, there can be no question that sex can be relationship-defining.

While some proponents of casual sex will say that using sex to grease one’s ego, to make oneself feel good, or for recreational and relaxation purposes is no big deal, the research confirms otherwise. Sex has an inherent component which glues individuals together; regardless. In other words, we don’t just have sex and get away scot free; there are…

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