For those of you who are fitness buffs, the idea of pushing your body to its limits with something like the Insanity fitness challenge may make loads of sense. Whether your goal is working on strength and endurance, bulking up your muscles or losing weight, today’s popular fitness routines test how much you really want what you think your body needs. If we were to transfer this line of thinking to our sex lives, it would be interesting to discover how many of us may be up to the challenge of improving our sex.
The Seven Days of Sex challenge began as an idea calculated to strengthen a couple’s level of intimacy. As most relationship experts will agree, while sex is incredibly important to many couples, the humdrum of life is often very good at interrupting the flow of passionate sex. With the reality of children, shared financial responsibilities, work-stress and the busyness of life, a couple’s love-life can literally become unglued at the seams. Some relationships can even suffer entirely from sexlessness or low-sex because physical intimacy is inadvertently placed on the back-burner. Instead of allowing our sex lives to languish on automatic pilot, the Seven Days of Sex challenge becomes a doable way of injecting some much needed fuel into our sputtering sexual engines.
What is it exactly? The challenge represents a couple’s commitment to literally having sex for seven straight days without interruption. There are no limits or restriction on time and place as that is entirely up to a couple’s creativity. The proponents of this well-known challenge advocate that it deepens intimacy, injects fun and spontaneity into the relationship, reduces tension and protects the relationship from negative external influences. Apart from making most men sheepishly happy, (my own husband had an instant excited glow when I suggested that we try it), it can also increase a woman’s sense of her own sexiness and desireability.
The challenge, since its inception, has evolved into a Lifetime Television reality show, a book, a course and a movement with loyal followers. Those couples who participate yearly either independently or as part of a marriage-group project, confirm that the experiment in some way has turned their relationship around. Are we suggesting that seven days of sex is some type of magical potion for all manner of relationship challenges? I think not. If a marriage is threatened by serious issues like emotional abuse, physical abuse, or infidelity, then seven straight days of sex will not solve anything.
At the same time, the fact that sex does not occur as an act in isolation, means that it can foster an environment where intimacy is likely to flourish. Oxytocin, known as the love hormone, is released during hugging, kissing and orgasm. Since oxytocin fosters feelings of belongingness and connection, then it can be assumed that seven straight days of sex will strengthen the couple-bond in a reasonably healthy relationship. Even where things are less than ideal, regularizing sex will invariably increase a couple’s appetite for more sex, thereby opening up the channels for greater levels of communication and deepened intimacy.
For those of you interested in maximizing your sex through this experiment, then pursuing this challenge to a successful end may require some strategic action on your part.
- Prioritize Sex: Mutually committing to the finish line once the challenge has started will require making sex a priority. This may mean synchronizing your bed times if this is not the norm, being more accessible to each other and diversifying when or where you have sex if this is needed.
- Don’t Feel Pressured: The presence or absence of sex can equally make a couple feel pressured to perform. While completing the challenge may be important, relaxing and letting the process flow naturally will be important for your overall sexual well-being at this time.
- Extend Fore-Play: Foreplay should begin long before your bodies touch. Sexualizing your entire relationship through hot, intimate phone-calls and thoughtful, romantic, gestures will make your coming together more sizzling, meaningful and effortless.
- Diversify to Delight: While some may view seven uninterrupted days of sex as serious business, it shouldn’t allow you to lose your sense of humour or your inventiveness. Whether you’re mastering a quickie, working on a lovemaking marathon or being adventurous in the outdoors, seven days of sex should also be a time of playful ingenuity. Ultimately, the effort embedded in the Seven Days of Sex Challenge in not just about having more sex for the sake of it. Its focus is on using the exclusivity of this sacred act, to deepen your marital commitment.