This is not meant to cast any doubt on those women who claim to have experienced this. IT REALLY IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE WITH ME. Only a few decades ago the sexual debate was on about whether a woman’s orgasm was clitoral or vaginal. And a few decades before that it was whether or not a woman could even experience an orgasm. The Century before that, Doctors were wondering if women were perhaps suffering from a case of Victorian Hysteria and needed a pelvic “massage” for release. Boy have we come a long way!
Long has the debate ended about which orgasm was superior; was it the vaginal or clitoral orgasm which took the cake? Never mind the detailed research by Masters and Johnson, some women were delirious to be at last experiencing one; they really didn’t care where it came from! We moved on to discussing the woman’s enviable ability to be multi-orgasmic, and then on to the even huger issue of the now infamous G Spot; was it real or was it not? Just when we thought we were settling down to the understanding that female sexuality was not the mega-puzzle that you had to have a Ph. D in to unravel; somebody came up with a yet another ground-breaking discovery. Women, they say can and do ejaculate! And to boot if you don’t, you sure are missing out.
Now let me reiterate that I’m not knocking those women who make claims to having experienced this “squirting” phenomenon; more power to them and their partners. What I am convinced of, however, is that we must desist this awful habit of making sex an experience of “keeping up with the Joneses”. Yes, I will admit that our sexuality is pretty powerful but it is also pretty individualistic. Why is a woman’s sexuality therefore frequently the subject of table-top conversation as if we are “freaks of nature” who have to be constantly told how to “do it right?” And why do we insist in making it rocket science? Why also does it seem that no matter how much a woman is in-tuned sexually, there is always just one more ground-breaking discovery, which will launch her permanently into sexual bliss? Until of course some other discovery emerges.
Why does it seem that we have to finally language our sex in ‘masculine’ terms in order to validate our sexuality? Of course some women will become more lubricated than others when aroused or when reaching a climax and yes that lubricant or liquid may squirt but why are we even comparing it to male ejaculation? Couldn’t we have found our own unique term? You know how the anthropologists and scientists claim that space is man’s final frontier? Well is ejaculation ours? I mean, can we finally now be considered sexual equals with men since we can “ejaculate” together?! Of course you get my drift . . .
These questions are of course designed to make us reflect on the money-making business female sexuality has become. It seems a social given that men will have sex, experience pleasure, ejaculate, procreate at times if the conditions are right, (no big deal) while the female seems doomed forever to jumping on new bandwagons of new sexual frontiers. It is not that I’m suggesting that sexuality is not dynamic and worthy of investigation and discussion; why ever else would I write this blog? What I’m weary of is the underlying suggestion that we women have to learn just one more thing to be sexually fulfilled; and it’s very often something suggested by a man! Boy, are we strangers to our own vaginas!
So the next time you read or hear that you have to be “trained” to ejaculate so that you could rightfully enter this latest frontier of a female sexual utopia; pause long enough to examine the sex you’re having now. Do you enjoy the closeness of your spouse? Are you orgasmic? Are you having enough sex? Does your sexuality extend beyond mere penile-vaginal interfacing? How could you make your sex-life better? Answer those questions truthfully and engage in dialogue with your spouse before you jump on the “shejaculation” bandwagon and imbibe feelings of sexual inferiority because you’ve never had one.
And of course, if you choose to investigate this theory; well that’s entirely up to you. Happy searching!