How To Be An Irresistible Man (and live to tell the tale)

When it comes to understanding the tango between a man and a woman there is still a lot of mystery out there. We all know that sexual chemistry can be powerful and we know that the pull between a man and a woman can be so strong that it can appear to defy good reason or even common sense. But what exactly makes a guy so sexy to a girl and what is it that draws a man to a woman like a moth to the flame. Of course many of us will claim to have individual tastes and preferences when it comes to looking, shopping around or even praying for our mate.

Some of these items on “the list” may have been born out of what we noticed about our parents’ relationships. If the qualities in our Dad for example were good and gentlemanly, we may think that we want to have a chivalrous guy just like Dad was. If the opposite was true and our Dad was a cad, we may also look for a guy who is the exact opposite. Then there are the fairy-tales, the romantic comedies, Romance novels and our best-friend’s “perfect” love life which convince us that these are the exact qualities we want in a partner.

These external motivators say nothing for the deeply entrenched hormonally-based feminine needs which we girls also have. We seem genetically predisposed for tenderness, intimacy, love and a strong sense of security. So how do external expectations and internal leanings combine to influence what exactly we are looking for in a guy? I believe that they mesh quite nicely with our own personality preferences to emerge a set of expectations which for the ordinary guy out there may seem quite lofty and unattainable.

Very often we get seriously connected to a guy or even marry him when there’s still a whole lot to be learned about him. That’s just the nature of relationships. Even when this is true, we still have a very innate sense of what will make us deliriously happy and fulfilled. Not that all of these traits will ever be found in any one man, but you can’t blame a girl for wishing.

If a guy is interested in understanding what will fulfill the woman who is willing to spend the rest of her life with him, then the following really long list may actually be worth the read. Here goes.

A woman’s relationship list can be quite lofty.

While this daunting list is not exhaustive by any means, most women desire a man who will:

  1. Make her feel like she’s the only girl in the world (Rihanna does have a point!)
  2. Expose himself to her emotionally (yes guys vulnerability IS the new sexy)
  3. Have great physical attributes to expose when the time is right (No skimming on the Gym)
  4. Speak words of love without shame or embarrassment (added bonus for deep eye contact)
  5. Act the gentleman both publicly and privately (You know that hand in the small of your back? Sooo sexy!)
  6. Know how to take care of her sexual needs before his own or at least be good at practicing
  7. Be a good provider (that is allow her to spend his money, while hoarding her own)
  8. Know that in the bedroom it’s not the size of the boat that matters but the motion of the ocean
  9. Play fair in recreational activities (that is let her win games)
  10. Play hard in the bedroom (literally)
  11. Take care of his health and hygiene
  12. Spend his money wisely (on her)
  13. Lead with integrity and confidence (that is no bullying, no sulking, no guilt trips, no manipulation)
  14. Acknowledge, praise and appreciate her strengths
  15. Share everything (critical decision making, baby duties and house chores)
  16. Understand that one of the key attributes of a leader is the ability to serve (you know, massage her feet, paint her toe-nails, kiss her ahhh . . . )
  17. Be a great father
  18. Take the marriage covenant seriously by practicing sexual and emotional fidelity (no secret Face-Book accounts, cybersex or actual sex with other women)
  19. Refrain from telling her she doesn’t look great (especially at that time of the month, when pregnant or when bloating due to PMS)
  20. Tell her how sexy she is (especially when he’s NOT about to get it on; when he’s all hot and horny it doesn’t really count)
  21. Refrain from comparing her to other women, especially his own mother (a huge biggy)
  22. At least try to anticipate her needs (know when she needs a good hug, a pat on the shoulder or some serious sex)
  23. Practice the love and loyalty he expects in return
  24. Pay attention to his softer, gentler, more vulnerable, spiritual side while maintaining manly confidence and strength
  25. Acknowledge God (most men who do, tend to have a fairly good take on how to really treat a woman)

2 thoughts on “How To Be An Irresistible Man (and live to tell the tale)

  1. Andrea Baptiste says:

    Although many of the qualities were what I was desirous of in a man, I can’t help but confess that somehow it was so important

    that the man I ultimately loved had to be able to expound the word of God with great ease. Actually, it was this that attracted me

    to my husband when I first met him in a christian cell group bible study meeting while we were studying at university. So

    nothing else seemed to matter, the fact that he was well on his way to getting first class honours, or that he was physically

    attractive could not overshadow how informed he appeared to be about the text that was before him. Indeed, I was smitten at

    the first meeting.

    After 15 years of marriage, I am still quite excited when we get together for bible study and there were times when some our

    challenges were inextricably linked to this activity. For instance, when it appeared that we didn’t have enough of it I made the

    claim that he was not fulfilling his role as teacher. Also, when I felt that if other aspects of life were in deficit, it means that taking

    on that role as teacher of preacher was not appropriate. So in our early stages of marriage there was an unspoken rule that

    issues had to be resolved before we go standing in the pulpit preaching to people.

    So why was the ability to divide the word of truth a magnet that pulled me to my husband ? Well, perhaps it may have been that

    this was a blessing that was not afforded to me in my childhood because of a non existent father; but I perceive that it had a lot

    to do with the type of guys I was being exposed to in the church. At that time I found that these guys were waiting for me to

    search the scriptures and share the revelations rather than they doing this and sharing with me. My experience says a lot:

    Attractors are varied so what one person may seek in a spouse could seem quite insignificant but very important to another.


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