When a Woman is a Vulture and Your Man the Prey


Usually, vultures have mastered the art of seduction.

We’ve all met this kind of woman I’m sure. We can sense her a mile away. She is a bird of prey and most likely, she’s preying on your man. Lest I be misunderstood, this article is not an attempt to absolve men of any of the guilt or responsibility which they must acknowledge when it comes to cheating. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Men are not babies. They know what they are doing when they decide to take that plunge and sleep with another woman. Be that as it may, it is critical to note that when men fail sexually in their relationships, they don’t do it alone. Their weakness is cheerfully egged on and facilitated by the women they make themselves vulnerable to.

This comes as no surprise because as long as there have been Sampsons, there have been Delilahs. For those not familiar with that story, Delilah was a woman (in Biblical times) who got the better of the man she targeted by playing the oldest trump-card in the world; sex. Even though she had somewhat of a Political agenda, basically she was a spy for the Philistine nation, she understood how to “work it” to get what she wanted. Centuries have passed and not much has changed. There are women who are experts at plotting and planning for men just to get what they want whether that be money, status, bling, more money or plain old sex.

Vultures have a particular way with men. It’s not just that they may be physically appealing (and very often they are) but they have an intimate knowledge of men. They understand what makes a man tick and are very good at breaking down a man’s defenses to their own advantage. Usually this intimate knowledge of men comes about as a result of their wide and varied experiences with several men. Make no bones about it, these women have been to the school of life and have studied men like an out-of-print textbook. What makes a woman a vulture therefore is not her innate sexiness, charisma, nor her ability to befriend, empathise with or “counsel” although these are all vulture strategies. Women are categorized as vultures because of their selfish agenda. Primarily Vultures care about numero uno. You see this woman is never what she appears to be at face value simply because she doesn’t have a genuine bone in her body. She wants what she wants, when she wants it and to hell with you if you try to get in her way!

If you live on this planet earth, chances are you will meet a vulture in your lifetime. She may be your husband’s or guy’s work colleague. She could be a neighbor, an old cherished friend of his or the girl he meets at a game or at the Gas Station. She might even be one of your girlfriends. The point is, if she fancies sinking her teeth (and other parts of her anatomy) into some fresh prey, then she could very well pose a problem.

Vultures are good at inventing excuses as to why a guy needs to spend time with them. It could seem as innocent as a request to have a tyre changed, the need to have something heavy lifted, or the need to have a shoulder to cry on. Whatever the case, Vultures know how to make a guy feel needed and wanted and they really don’t care if he’s married or in a committed relationship. In fact that seems to make him even more attractive to Vultures! That being said, don’t make the mistake of believing that every Vulture is a desperate single-woman, some are married but live their “other-woman” existence underground.

The woman who is categorized as a Vulture, like her name-sake, watches her victim from a distance. She studies him carefully, assesses his wants and weaknesses and then moves in for the kill. As a Vulture tries new ways to get close to your man, she is really gathering the information needed to guarantee his downfall with her. If he’s a man on the look out for some extra sex, then her job is made even easier.There is really no rocket-science to her having her wicked way with this guy. However, if her prey is a family man, a husband who loves his wife but maybe a bit bored or needy in some way, she understands that her tactics have to be a lot more studied and sly.

The Vulture will therefore seek to undermine a marriage by pointing out very underhandedly, all the ways a man’s wife has not been meeting his needs. If she’s smart she might not actually bring up the wife’s name but will find ways and means of presenting herself as a viable and better option. So a Vulture, unlike most wives, will always make herself sexually accessible. She never says no. She might even do those things that some wives would never, ever dream of doing in and out of bed. She is a connoisseur at being the “better other woman” and knows how to play her cards well.

The truth be told, some Vultures are hardly interested in marriage to the guy. Being tied to any one man may actually cramp her style since she may like to leave all of her options open to new and potentially more promising experiences. So why go after any man in the first place you might ask? It’s important that you understand that a Vulture thrives on power and on exercising it. (And contrary to what you might think, not every woman out there wants the husband and the white picket fence). She just wants to know that she can steal your man from right under your nose; so beware of the “best-friend” who ogles your husband when she thinks you’re not looking. It boosts her sexual ego to know that she is able to “get” your husband or guy literally from right under you because a Vulture really believes she is in some unspoken competition with every other woman out there.

If a woman is to guard her marriage against the permanent threat of the Vulture, then there are a few things she must take to heart:

  • be weary of late-night telephone or cell phone calls to your husband from other women, especially those he keeps hidden
  • be suspicious of women who want to befriend your man but are not interested in being a friend of the couple or family
  • if your partner spends an inordinate amount of time on social networking sites like Facebook, observe whether this “habit” is open to you or if you are free to peruse his page at any time
  • as a couple, set parameters and boundaries in your relationship where other members of the opposite sex are concerned
  • have a common philosophy about the “best-friend” issue; (there is no way my husband should have another woman as his “best-friend” I don’t care how much of a childhood friend she is)!
  • be honest in your relationship about expectations, needs and disappointments; relationships become vulnerable to adultery when they are built on dishonesty and a lack of communication
  • strengthen the levels of intimacy in the relationship by spending quality time together
  • keep your man sexually happy and fulfilled without being his sexual slave (a delicate balancing act I admit)
  • preserve a sense of sexual-mystery in the marriage relationship by keeping things fresh as much as possible
  • demand respect from your partner by not tolerating emotional or sexual infidelity in any form or fashion
  • listen to and trust your intuition; most of the time that you are suspicious of another woman’s motives where your man is concerned, YOU ARE RIGHT!
  • act on your intuition; if your partner displays suspicious behaviour and there is any reason to doubt him, CONFRONT him
  • don’t be the naive woman because you want to be liked by all; know that Vultures don’t play; don’t befriend one, she is the ENEMY
  • if you decide to keep your husband even if he has fallen prey to a Vulture, make sure that he accepts responsibility for his actions and seeks help independently of you, through counselling, therapy or mentorship by a man who has his head screwed on right
  • if your relationship is to survive the attack of a Vulture, then ultimately, you must learn to forgive; this is a process, not an event and should not be rushed; take time to examine the relationship, access its weaknesses, vulnerabilities and strengths and together plot a path to progress so that it never falls prey again to the wiles of the “other woman”

19 thoughts on “When a Woman is a Vulture and Your Man the Prey

  1. Cena Bussey says:

    I think you need to do some serious research about the behavioral patterns of Vultures. Vultures are not birds of prey, they only kill when an animal is weak or dying. Ninety nine percent of their diet consists of scavenged remains of other animals that are ALREADY dead.

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    • Denise J Charles says:

      Thanks so much for your comment but since this is really not a science lesson, I don’t think my metaphor needs to line up perfectly. The idea I think which is pretty easy to see, is that there are women who prey on men, men who, like the weak defenseless animals that vultures do attack, may not have a clue. Vultures study what they are going to do, before they move in, it’s cold, calculated and well planned; that is really the point of the extended metaphor. They hunt for and feed on what they want because they can actually see very well; just like some women. And my research does say that they are birds of prey.

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  2. Denise J Charles says:

    Hi Luisa, thanks so much for your comments. Under normal circumstances, I don’t advise going after the vulture yourself; immediately. Your partner should be confronted if he has compromised the relationship or given into the vulture in any way (emotionally or sexually). Even if he hasn’t but it is clear what this vulture is trying to do, then he should be warned; especially since men are usually blind to these things initially. If however the behaviour of the vulture is intrusive and overbearing and if your partner refuses to deal with it, then you could consider intervening. But for me this is an absolute last resort. Now if the vulture is a “friend”, acquaintance, work-colleague, family member (someone with whom you have a relationship) then your immediate intervention is justified. Hope this helps.

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    • Luisa Pascalis de Thomas says:

      Yes 🙂 Thank you!
      Work colleague (his). I have warned him so he knows how I feel. He has asked me not to do anything and let him deal with it but can’t help sometimes wanting to do something, even if it’s just “a slap with a white glove”; make my presence known and maybe intimidate her.
      I appreciate and I am grateful for a third person’s point of view, and this article!! I knew I was right about these women! they do exist!

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    • Denise J Charles says:

      Thanks for sharing your story Daniele. This is just the type of damage “vultures” can cause in relationships when our spouses allow them. Protecting our relationships from emotional and sexual intrusions is entirely necessary if we’re to make them a success. Both men and women must decide not to “bitch” on their partners with members of the opposite sex. This is disloyalty to the highest degree and only damages the relationship. Having gone through this, I hope your husband will be more vigilant in the future and offer you the support and respect you deserve. Your still feeling hurt is entirely normal, give it some time and in the mean time, work on building intimacy (both emotional and sexual) with your spouse. Take care.

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      • claudia says:

        My husband has a couple of vultures after him. He told me today. They offered him sex and showed him clean std tests. Why would they do this if he didn’t ask for test results? Was he interested?

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      • Denise J Charles says:

        Thanks for asking. The fact that they showed STD results seems to suggest that there may have been some impression conveyed that he was interested. At the same time, this may be evidence of a really heavy “come on” from women who want to go all out to get a man. You should however confront him about it and ask him directly if he had shown sexual interest and why. You can only hope that he will come clean and then you can move on from there. Hopefully, this can provide an opportunity for both of you to assess the true state of your relationship. Take care.

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      • claudia says:

        Thank you Denise Charles for your reply. The truth is I love him with all my heart and it hurts very much. It has been almost a week since we slept in the same bed. I moved to the sofa. We have had a couple of arguments already since then, horrible ones. At first he said he did not show any type of interest in any of them. He said he is a popular man so these “trashy girls” were curious to know him more; to which he said (in a very kind way) he was not interested because he has a family. Then, after much arguing with him, he said he was going to do it, but that he thought about me and then declined. I am still hurt though, because he “thought” about it. The next day he even denied saying that. I am not crazy; I know what I heard. And then he finished saying that if he really wanted to do it, he would of done it and not told me anything at all. I really feel down and out. Why, say one thing? And then change it the next?

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  3. Denise J Charles says:

    Reblogged this on redredapples and commented:

    The issue of infidelity and the threat of infidelity will always be an issue in intimate relationships. The question is; what can we do to intervene or stem the tide? Since this article has been trending on my blog recently, I have decided to re-post.

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  4. Josephine says:

    Found out Vultures are real. Married 30 years and helping a daughter of a friend, who became the vulture. Trusted my husband, never thought this 23 year old girl would go after my 52 year old husband. One day, all gone, torn apart, and family is torn apart This vulture lied to me in every way, to lead me off being suspicious. I am now divorced and they are planning on their upcoming wedding. She has convinced him Mother Mary has blessed them and their cheating and betrayal ways. While myself and the rest of the family are trying to deal with it all.

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  5. Virginiadaniels says:

    This was very helpful, am in that kind of a situation where my Fiancé has a female co worker who confessed that she has feelings for him. The lady is married and when I confronted him he said she is depressed, and I don’t know what’s going on. This has left me feeling disrespected, angry and hurt.

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    • Denise J Charles says:

      Hello. Thanks for your response. Your fiancé may be well meaning but as soon as he realized this woman was attracted to him because she confessed it, then he should have been firm in establishing boundaries between them. If he entertains the attraction by feeling sorry for her, then he’s asking for trouble. Very often when a woman is attracted to a man who is married or attached, she will go the route of getting sympathy from him. Your fiancé shouldn’t fall for this and you have every right to be uncomfortable. Continue to confront him about it.

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